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Choosing to see – Mary Beth Chapman

From what I know this book hasn’t been yet translated into Romanian hence my review in English. I will try to make the Instagram video in Romanian, with emphasis on trying.

Honestly, I don’t even know how I stumbled on this title, I think it was another Amazon recommendation. I recognized the name Chapman, Mary Beth, the author of this book being the wife of Steven Curtis Chapman. That Steven Curtis Chapman – the most awarded artist in Christian music, 5 Grammy awards and more than 50 Dove awards. A well-deserved success, his music helps millions all over the world. I grew up with his music and even now, in my 30s, I still go back to songs like Dive or Cinderella.

Going back to the book – I divided the book into two sections.

In the 1st part – the author describes her struggle with clinical depression and the difficulties in her marriage with Steven Curtis. And she doesn’t hold back in being honest and raw and real.

Her honesty made me connect with her from the first pages. She talks about their early life; their young marriage, Steven’s perseverance in moving his career forward, the birth of their three children and the adoption of three daughters from China. And again, as I mentioned earlier – Mary Beth is candid in sharing her battles with depression, her anger at God, her fears of adoption and the joy she found with her new daughters.

The 2nd part – here’s where it gets tricky because even though I knew what was coming, there were so many moments when the story got so intense. In the second half of the book, she covers the accident. Their daughter, Maria Sue, five years old was killed in a car accident, the situation being doubly tragic because one of their oldest sons, was behind the wheel.

When people ask how are we doing, the first thing I always say is, ”I want Maria back. I want my son Will Franklin not to have this as a chapter in his story.

As I was progressing with the book, I asked myself multiple times, do I want to keep reading this? I found a comment that said ”It is too scary to immerse yourself into a memoir that is based on “God allowed my child to be hit by a car and die, that has driven by my son”. Makes no sense. Shakes you to the core”. And that is so true, but even in the mids of this horrific story, if you keep reading, you will find that in the end is a story of hope and I am not saying this lightly.

There are two moments in the book that stayed with me. The 1st one is where in the middle of that garage scene when everyone was crying, yelling, Will covered in blood, police and so forth, Steven talks to his son.

Your father loves you” – the aftermath of everything wasn’t easy for Will. Even though the accident wasn’t his fault, that didn’t make things easy for him, the guilt, the heaviness. I’m an only child, but I saw many situations where if a younger sibling is hurt, the parents take their anger or confusion on the older ones, especially if the hurt is caused by one of them. How wise do you need to be as a parent to manage a situation like this? In my opinion, those words, spoken in those moments, were God-given.

The second moment that stayed with me is when Will’s classmates wrote him a dedication on their graduation day. Throughout the book, Mary Beth talks about the impact of their community in their lives. From church members to high school students. How everyone came together to help them in their season of mourning, to believe for them when everything became too much.

Courageous, gifted, a warrior – how important it is to speak life over those around us. If right now you have a friend that is struggling with depression, hurt or loss, speak life over him. Remind him who he is in Christ.

There will be so much to say about this book, and I know that my writing won’t do any justice to this story, but if you take one idea from everything, please remember this: choose to see, that there is more and that somehow, SOMEHOW there will be a tomorrow even if tomorrow you will find yourself back at square one in your emotional journey. It is a journey in the end.

“Real success in the kingdom of God is not about being strong and looking good and knowing all the right answers. It’s about continually yielding oneself to Jesus and determining to take purposeful little steps of obedience, and the ragged reality that it’s all about God and His grace at work in us.” Mary Beth Chapman