Another weekend has passed, and once again, I find myself unable to finish the article I began on prayer. How does one describe one of the most sacred connections to God? It’s a profound question, and I suppose it’s something I’ll keep praying about—yes, I see the irony in that.
As another month passes, I’ve also postponed writing my big seven-year reflection post. This post was meant to acknowledge every single thing God has accomplished in my life over the past seven years.
Sometimes, I wonder if the last seven years were it for me. Seven years where I was faithful and obedient in my calling and with my gifts, and now He’s telling me: You’re free to just… be?
Maybe I’m seeing things wrong. Perhaps I have more shortcomings than I’d like to admit, or maybe I just need to learn how to properly stop and rest. After all, Leviticus 25:1-7 reminds us of the importance of rest and renewal.
Lately, my mind has been all over the place, dwelling on chaos and questioning whether growth is possible in moments like this. At first glance, it seems like the answer is no, or if growth does occur, it feels unnatural. But then I’m reminded of the flower on top of the mountain, surrounded by harsh conditions, yet still blooming despite the adversity.
Jon Foreman’s lyrics come to mind:
“My broken history decomposes, But it’s a part of me that’s pushing up roses.”
Exactly like success, this adversity might look different for each of us. One thing I am forcing myself to do is to be honest with myself. No political correctness, no exaggerated positivity—just the truth and reality. Just… be.
I’m not sure where I want to go with this article. Honestly, this is more like a Monday night venting session because I messed up today, and writing is my way of coping with things, so let me finish with this:
If you’re feeling like you’re in a chaotic season, find those things that ground you, those people that love you, and THAT presence that will hold you.
*writing on: Even by Bad Omens